What did I just say..?
Poor communication can lead to all sorts of issues and whether it’s a rushed morning briefing to staff or a badly executed corporate PR strategy, the potential consequences can be unforeseen and maybe even disastrous.
In 1999, tobacco manufacturer, Philip Morris, commissioned a study into the economic effects of smoking in the Czech Republic and, based on its findings, went on to argue publicly that premature deaths from smoking were, on balance, a good thing because they saved the government money in healthcare costs and pensions.
Ten years later, when the Deepwater Horizon oil rig exploded and sank in the Gulf of Mexico, it caused the biggest environmental disaster the petroleum industry has ever known – four million barrels of oil flowed from the damaged platform over an 87-day period. Owner, BP, drew stinging criticism from then US President, Barak Obama, who railed against the conglomerate’s decision to run a series of glossy TV adverts using money which, he said, would have been better spent on the colossal clean-up operation.
These are examples of disastrous communication on a grand scale, but many readers of this blog will easily be able to call to mind an incident or two in their own workplaces where misapprehension, a poorly expressed opinion or a faulty assumption caused difficulty or distress among colleagues. Perhaps it went further and relationships with a key client were threatened, or the future of an important project was placed in jeopardy.
I read somewhere this week that we send out, on average, about 300 messages a day. Some of them are intentional, but many of them are not. There’s a heck of a lot of potential for trouble there if we aren’t communicating with deliberation and purpose.
And it’s not just about how we express ourselves: a big part of how we communicate effectively in the workplace - or at home - has to do with how we listen as well.
Hearing and listening are not the same thing – hearing is a passive activity that we don’t have to think about, but listening is a conscious choice, it demands concentration. Active listening is a skill that will help build empathy and trust between the parties involved and ensure that the correct message is clearly heard and understood.
If you want to improve your ability to actively listen, here’s a little mnemonic that I often use to help course participants remember the vital steps:
Look interested: Your posture and body language are constantly sending out messages. You may have a naturally ‘laid back’ posture, but an upright, leaning slightly forward stance will indicate that you’re interested in what is being said to you. Good eye contact and the odd nod will reinforce this message.
Inquire with questions: If you’re unclear about the message being relayed to you, ask questions to confirm your understanding and try not to challenge the message-giver.
Stay on target: Don’t go off subject – something we’re very good at here in NI! If you get sidetracked, the original purpose of the communication will be lost.
Test understanding: If you can summarise your understanding of the message, it will show that you’ve been listening and assimilating.
Evaluate the message: Reflect your understanding of the message back to the message-giver to ensure that the impact that the message is making is as intended.
Neutralise your feelings: You may have strong feelings about what is being said, but if you show them it might bias or block the message completely. Respond later.
As well as all that, you should also try to pick up on the emotions of the person you’re speaking to. They may give you clues in the words they use, or they may offer non-verbal cues. If you can understand not only the message but the feelings behind what is being conveyed, you’ll be able to fully appreciate the message.
Harmonious, functioning relationships, whether they exist at work or in the home, really do rely on effective communication – and the responsibility to get it right doesn’t just lie with the person conveying the message.
